Death, Mourning & Remembrance

We’re here for you

When death is imminent, families and friends need comfort, care, support, and guidance. Oftentimes, difficult and complicated decisions need to be made and the emotional and spiritual needs are sometimes overwhelming. Our Rabbis are available for help during the difficult days. When death occurs, please notify the temple. If the office is closed and you need the help of a Rabbi, you may contact one of them at home. They can help you with the arrangements for a funeral service and answer any other questions you might have. Setting a time for the service: The funeral date and time need to be coordinated between the families, the Rabbi, and the funeral home. Please talk to the Rabbi before setting the time.

Customs

Memorial Candle. Upon returning home from the funeral, it is customary to light the Shiva (seven-day) Memorial candle and place it in a public area of your home, such as a living room or den. This candle will be given to you by the funeral director.

Kaddish. Families often choose to say kaddish at home for family and close friends following the funeral. You can arrange for a shiva service with the Rabbi at the same time you make the funeral arrangements. In addition, the name of your loved one will be read at all Shabbat services for one month following the funeral.

 Yahrzeit. On the anniversary of a death, a 24-hour Yahrzeit (memorial) candle (available in grocery stores or at our Judaica Shop) is lit by family members and placed in a public area of your home. It is lit at sundown of the day prior to the anniversary of the death. Your loved one’s name will be read at the service that day and at all Shabbat services that week. You will receive an advance notice of the service times and dates for those loved ones you have listed.

Yahrzeit

You are invited and encouraged to let us know the name and yahrzeit of your 

Candle Jewish_Tradition

beloved ones who have departed from us. We will honor their memory by announcing their name at our synagogue during services. May you be comforted among all the mourners of Israel.

In Jewish tradition, when the year of mourning is over, mourners are expected to return to a fully normal life. There are several occasions each year when our loved ones who have passed on are memorialized. The most significant of these is yahrzeit, the anniversary of the death, which is observed according to the Hebrew calendar. As is the case in all Jewish holy days, yahrzeit observance begins at night. A 24-hour candle is lit and one may attend synagogue to recite the Kaddish [the memorial prayer].

At Kol Ami, honoring anniversaries of these passings is among the most important work we do. Rabbi Milgrom, Rabbi Weiner and Cantor Rosen are available to help you plan an unveiling ceremony or other related rituals. Moreover, our congregants have prepared a beautiful, user friendly guide for unveilings which we can share with you.

Congregation Kol Ami has a tradition of offering Yahrzeit name plaques as a “living” memorial that perpetuates the memory of your loved one. Beautiful glass engraved plaques may be purchased for $750 each or beautiful leafs on our Tree of Live may be purchased for $180 each. See our memorial wall or make your purchase now. For more information contact the main office.

Learn about the Kol Ami Virtual Cemetery.

Mourners Kadish

Transliteration

Yit-ga-dal v’yit-ka-dash sh’mei ra-ba, b’al-ma di-v’ra chi-ru-tei, v’yam-lich mal-chu-tei b’chai-yei-chon uv’yo-mei-chon uv’chai-yei d’chol-beit Yis-ra-eil, ba-a-ga-la u-viz-man ka-riv, v’im’ru: Amen. Y’hei sh’mei ra-ba m’va-rach l’a-lam ul’al-mei al-ma-ya. Yit-ba-rach v’yish-ta-bach, v’yit-pa-ar v’yit-ro-mam v’yit-na-sei, v’yit-ha-dar v’yit-a-leh v’yit-ha-lal, sh’mei d’ku-d’sha, b’rich hu, l’ei-la min kol bir-cha-ta v’shi-ra-ta, tush-b’cha-ta v’ne-che-ma-ta, da-a-mi-ran b’al-ma, v’im’ru: Amen. Y’hei sh’la-ma ra-ba min sh’ma-ya, v’cha-yim, a-lei-nu v’al kol-Yis-ra-eil, v’im’ru: Amen.. O-seh sha-lom bim-ro-mav, hu ya-a-seh sha-lom a-lei-nu v’al kol-Yis-ra-eil, v’im’ru: Amen.

English Version

Glorified and sanctified be God’s great name throughout the world which He has created according to His will. May He establish His kingdom in your lifetime and during your days, and within the life of the entire House of Israel, speedily and soon; and say, Amen. May His great name be blessed forever and to all eternity. Blessed and praised, glorified and exalted, extolled and honored, adored and lauded be the name of the Holy One, blessed be He, beyond all the blessings and hymns, praises and consolations that are ever spoken in the world; and say, Amen. May there be abundant peace from heaven, and life, for us and for all Israel; and say, Amen. He who creates peace in His celestial heights, may He create peace for us and for all Israel; and say, Amen. May they rest in peace and may their memory ever be for a blessing… At this moment, I pause for thought in memory of my beloved………………………

Additional Prayers

I give thanks for the blessing of life, of companionship and of memory. I am grateful for the strength and faith that sustained me in the hour of my bereavement. Though sorrow lingers, I have learned that love is stronger than death. Though my loved one is beyond my sight, I do not despair for I sense my beloved in my heart as a living presence. ustained by words of faith, comforted by precious memories, we kindle the light in remembrance. “The human spirit is the light of Adonai” (Proverbs 20:27). As this light is pure and clear, so may the blessed memory of the goodness and nobility of character of our dear…………..illumine our souls.

May they rest in peace and may their memory ever be for a blessing… At this moment, I pause for thought in memory of my beloved………………………I give thanks for the blessing of life, of companionship and of memory. I am grateful for the strength and faith that sustained me in the hour of my bereavement. Though sorrow lingers, I have learned that love is stronger than death. Though my loved one is beyond my sight, I do not despair for I sense my beloved in my heart as a living presence. ustained by words of faith, comforted by precious memories, we kindle the light in remembrance. “The human spirit is the light of Adonai” (Proverbs 20:27). As this light is pure and clear, so may the blessed memory of the goodness and nobility of character of our dear…………..illumine our souls.